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Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.Compliments of. "Well," Joe said, "she's a 15 year oldgirl and you're still an 18 year old guy. Well, where it matters." Helaughed.Before Joe got finished his laugh Chris shrieked and grabbed his crotch.He reached under his loose pants and felt the smoothness that could onlymean one thing, he was no longer a male. Layers of baby fat began tostack on Chris's tiny body. His face became even softer and years meltedoff as he looked younger and younger. His arms and legs, void of anymuscles, became smoother and softer. He was about to speak but before hecould react he felt a strange pulse within his mind. A fog began to cloudhis brain. It was that same fog that clouded his thoughts earlier when hetried to solve that Calculus problem. It crept through his mind huntingand concealing any skills or knowledge an average 15 year old girl wouldnot have. It finally settled only once he was left with a smallpercentage of the capacity he had that morning. He was once again able tospeak but finding words suddenly.
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